FINDING HAPPINESS 3
The next question you get to repeat to yourself many times from this point onwards is
HOW or WHAT DO I NEED TO CHANGE so that it doesn't happen again?
Accepting responsibility is POWERFUL but it is not for everyone. People who aren't truly powerful like to control others, seeking to appear strong on the outside they cover up for their inner weaknesses. Truly strong people accept responsibility for their weaknesses as they know that this allows them grow into even stronger beings. They see a weakness as an OPPORTUNITY for growth and NOT as something which makes them bad, 'not enough', undeserving love, care and respect of others.
We all make mistakes. A genuine 'Sorry for how I made you feel' is being empathic and completely unrelated to our worth! Those who struggle with an appology, unwilling to acknowledge how their actions may have hurt others, feel deeply unworthy. An apology means a DEFEAT, only pointing out to their weaknesses.
Accepting responsibility means working with what IS, as supposed to arguing with obvious reality. We get to understand how useless and INAUTHENTIC this exercise really is. And no, we aren't responsible for how others feel as that is the result of their own thoughts and expectations. Nevertheless, it doesn't make us caring, nor loving, to behave unempathetically.
At this stage we get to understand who really cares about us and who just pretends to care, truly caring only about how they look in front of others.
The mask must be kept UP at all costs. 'Looking good' goes hand in hand with seeking acceptance, which goes hand in hand with feeling 'not enough' deep down. Funny how some work on perfecting themselves on the outside - seemingly strong, they hide the flaws of their character.
Here we get to learn about OUR OWN PRETENDING...
Ha! And you thought you might have escaped that one did you? Woudn't you want to finally understand why you cared to pretend, and why you pretended to care?
Yes, we too have our SHADOW SELF. Our dreaded darkside which keeps us from truly loving ourselves, the part we automatically reject.
We learn how others project their most hated parts onto us, caled mirroring, and undertand why they hate us so much. We get to learn why we resent them for all that they have done to us, and if it wasn't for the saving grace of our forgiveness again, we would have been left with hating ourselves too...
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is an expression of love towards oneself and an antidote to self-rejection.
Because the black hole of self-rejection needs to TAKE, it left me with a sense LACK within.
I got how an endless supply of things and addiction to drama was making me momentarily distracted from my inner pain of self-rejection. I understood why my 'happiness' never lasted long past my last purchase, or a date.
Once you get to uderstand you, your mind, heart and soul, you know that drama is just a symptom of an unhappy relationship with oneself. Because one simply cannot feel peaceful if s/he has a conflict within.
When you understand that others are broken and insecure, you finally get that you wanted from them, you can never get. They cannot truly love, nor care for anyone, as they rejected and abandoned themselves. They simpy cannot truly GIVE because they don't have...
I realised that I cannot be happy without being here for myself in the first place. I couldn't clear my confusion about who I was without asking myself a lot of questions. And only when I did, I was rewarded with the truth, including true love.
Ever lasting happiness is like the light - it shows up the more you illuminate all the dark corners of your mind, heart and soul :)
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2017 Michaela Patel
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