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  • Michaela Patel


What is 'emotional garbage' and why are some of us stuck with mountains of it? What happens when we do not know how to permanently, and safely, clear the heavy baggage from our life?

So what excatly is emotional garbage?

It is the raging, unresolved emotional energy based in fear. Like ongoing frustration, long term resentment, anxiety, or sad, pessimistic moods we aren't aware of, yet generously share with our surroundings. Dumping that which weighs us down, we uncaringly (and to our defence unknowingly) pollute the minds and hearts of our loved ones. Selfishly and thoughtlessly throwing out our emotional litter, we foolishly believe that the momentary relief is somehow serving us. Or others. Yes, there is the compulsion to ‘warn others' as the dangers we face in our heads are far too real...

Is your friend or family member constantly complaining about everything?

He or she tends to repeatedly ‘relieve’ her or his inner toxicity which overspills into your relating, leaving you with a 'negativity hangover'. Which is very different from sharing concerns in a constructive manner with the aim to hear others input or get help to make different choices.

When you are with people with unresolved inner drama, sooner or later you realise how is their constant negativity making you feel. Nothing is ever good enough. Not themselves, not the world, not your advice. Being around toxic waste makes you feel pretty unhealthy. Suffocated. All you want to do is to leave and catch some fresh air. Alone.

When it is us doing emotional dumping, we somehow believe that the repetitive throwing out of our own stinking emotional refuse will have no repercussions. But if we like to genuinely get better long term, prior to opening our mouths, we must ask ourselves questions below.

Do I really want help and am I prepared to apply advice given? Or am I just poluting the minds of those who could potentially help me?

We essentially drive positive people, those who are good for us, we need around more, away and attract people who are making the same mistake. They too need someone who doesn’t mind sharing their disasters with them. They don’t truly care about themselves, nor you. Happy to stand on their sadness and frustration filed wasteland, desperately tipping buckets on the head of another, they are ignorant to the overall devastation.

Trouble shared is trouble halved the saying goes...

It feels good to share with our loved ones in a constructive way, when they see we allowed them to help us. Otherwise it is like watching bad news! Our media do enough disaster dumping, without offering a creative solution on how to contribute to it's improvement. But this is entirely different story when our own life is concerned. Because at the end of the day, we are solely responsible for a safe disposal of what we have generated by our past, wrong choices. And yes, some of those weren’t entirely our fault because we left others to make those choices for us. Some of them so long ago, we cannot even remember. Nevertheless, we are left with the reality of our lingering, emotional leftovers and no one can deal with those but ourselves. No matter how hard we try to blame others for them. The bitter aftertaste of a divorce, the sour attitude to life due to death of a family member or an abuse in childhood, can only be washed away (and healed) by the salty taste of our own tears. In solitude. Or (ideally) with a counsellor who can provide constructive support and finally free us. Making us see our previous unhealthy choices, preventing our further destruction, these angels can help us to sort out our darkness once and for all.

It is not a matter of pride to see a mental health professional. It is a matter of self-love and self-respect.

For starters, we have to acknowledge we aren't good with our 'emotional re-cycling', unable to clear our so called 'negative emotions'. Gossiping about ourselves, is like opening our trash bag, showing everyone our smelly mess whilst looking for a praise and understanding. It’s ridiculous to think that you can spread your garbage across a tidy garden next door and get a recognition, even fame for it! Or that people who love and respect themselves will queue to visit your dumping ground. Why would they?! They had to work bloody hard to tidy up their own mess, using the tools of authenticity, forgiveness and self-love. Honestly overlooking their past disasters, accepting their half of a responsibility, they have forgiven themselves for their mistakes. They decided that they want to change because they understood how their current mental-emotional habits are only serving their ongoing self-destruction. How by keeping their minds untidy all this time, they denied themselves healing of their hearts and expansion of their souls. They really got that true happiness is a choice within the reach of each every one of us, and that if we change today, tomorrow is bound to change too.

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2019 Michaela Patel

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