top of page
  • Michaela Patel


As adults, the fastest way to feel ACCEPTED is through sleeping with another. Physical touch, skin to skin contact, reminds us of the feelings of closeness we were so longing for as children. Human touch maed us feel loved, cared for, protected.

We are social creatures and if our basic desire for connection isn't met, we seek endless opportunities to fill that empty space inside. The momentary, illusionary, feeling of love is however pushing us further into the oblivion of SELF-LOATHING.

By continuing in this madness, we hold ourselves hostage of our insecurities. By disrespecting another, their feelings, we disrespect our own, not understanding that we are emotionally dead, unhappy and indeed confused...

On the other hand, in a happy relationship, emotional connection is based on the ability to be VULNERABLE - being 'emotionally naked' in front of one another.

The DEPTH of our connection is based on our ability to communicate and open up to one another. Which in turn depends on how much we truly know ourselves in order to express our needs and desires. Love is expressed freely, without the fear of abandonment, with mutual respect and regard for one's feelings. This creates a SAFE, mutually caring space.

When we share the sacred space of deep mutual understanding, love flows through us. We feel alive and deeply connected.

Emotional intimacy creates a solid foundation for feelings of wanting to be close also physically as its EXTENSION. It is the kind of attraction which doesn't fade in time, representing the opposite extreme of a relationship built on attraction to start with.

To create this kind of connection, one has to be connected to oneself - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It is simply hard to communicate with another if we haven't practiced conversing with ourselves...

Seeking sex is what inevitably happens when we mix infatuation with love. Without emotionally connecting to ourselves we can hardly feel love for ourselves. Thinking we are able to share love, we really share just our bodies and illusions.

We 'fall in love' with someone we don't know much about, idealising him/her, feeling like we know them forever and have lots in common. Yes we do share the same lies and insecurities! Thirsty for acceptance, we mould ourselves to their illusion of us. When the illusion disappears, we hate each other ( and ourselves) for the betrayal (and self-betrayal). We feel frustrated, cheated, deeply hurt, and far from safe. Our connection is suddenly non-existent, and so is our attraction...

The viagra business is booming!

We seek real love, pretending to love ourselves, surprised we attract only the illusion of love. We blame them for their flaws, not understanding our own. How can we even expect to create a real relationship with another when the relationship with ourselves is fictional?

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel

bottom of page