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  • Michaela Patel


Dear Soulmate,

I need to find YOU... because I lost ME.

I NEED you to love me❤️... because I feel unloveable 💔

I NEED you to hear how much you want me ...because I feel undesirable.

I NEED a proof of how much you value me... because I feel unworthy.

I NEED your attention ... because I neglect my Self.

I NEED to know how important I am... because I feel insignificant.

I NEED to see how much you respect me... as every time I please you, I disrespect myself.

I NEED you to know and understand me... because I don't know or understand myself.

I NEED to be in a relationship with you at all costs... not to be alone, feeling unwanted.

I NEED to know you won't ever leave me... not to feel abandoned.

I NEED to trust you with my life … because I simply don’t trust me with it.

I NEED you to save me ... from me.

I really hope you can fulfil all my needs so that we can avoid drama. For that I am happy to morph into someone I am not.

I promise to love you conditionally as that is all I know.

Best of luck!

Your future Partner ( in crime )

Insecurities are the missing parts of ourselves, we look to fulfil through another. The parts of our hurting Inner Child, crying for attention, seeking to be soothed. Our wounds speak through our needs. Through the needy Child of ours who never grew up. The lost, deeply upset, and desperate part of ourselves, seeking contentment through UNITY. Through a wholeness of a relationship.

We are looking for peace experiencing a war within. Seeking love we bring pain.

Healing is maturation. And healing isn't possible without acknowledging how much we are (still) hurting. Those wounds won't and CANNOT HEAL until we are brave enough to face our pain. Facing it yet again is scary, because the last time we have visited this place we felt so vulnerable and confused. We felt so powerless... DEFEATED!

But we forget a lot has changed since...

We are not that child anymore. We can view and FEEL the same situation from a safe place of our adult perspective, from what we know and understand TODAY. From a place which wasn't accessible to us when we were little. We forget that we are safe, that our emotions cannot harm us but their REPRESSION has. It has prevented our healing all this time...

Doing anything else is a distraction, moving us further away from discovering the beauty of life. COURAGE is our remedy, fear is our poison. Fear of not being able, of not being enough, keeps us small. The fear of failure. We remember how we failed at standing up for ourselves back then, endlessly seeking people who can stand up for us. We are failing to acknowledge that our childhood wounds are our major weakness and that NO ONE can save us from our hurt but us. That without healing our wounds we failed at getting to really know who we are, because we refused to see the whole picture. That without getting in touch with who we are we failed at truly loving and living.

We have really nothing to loose by TRYING, which may be the only thing we in fact haven't failed at.

What are your needs? What do you NEED from your partner to feel content? See if you find a corellation in your childhood. The key lies in your earliest, 3 worst memories? Usually between the age of 3 - 8. Have you felt abandoned, deserted, unloved, rejected, betrayed, ugly, insignificant, unworthy, distrustful at any point?

Please read on how to deal with your emotions here.

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel

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