"You are not your fear."
What does it really mean? I asked myself. My fear comes from me, it is part of me....it must BE who I AM, no? If I am not my fear, who am I then??
Have you asked yourself similar questions yet?
I have questioned myself with respect to my anger some time ago.
I recognised that when I am angry it doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't bring anything positive if I express my anger in DESTRUCTIVE ways, that I am not the person I would want to be. It just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel truthful to be expressing myself this way - it doesn't feel authentic. All that made me see that I am NOT my anger.
We get angry when we are SCARED.
Anger is a result of our 'fight or flight' response to a REAL or IMAGINED threat, in an attempt to restore our boundaries.
Feeling fearful, we recognise our 'territory', our comfort zone, was crossed, and we are in a high alert state. To which the primitive part of our brain REACTS: by either escaping, or by launching an attack.
Fear is a feeling arising from, and based on, previous negative experience. It is ACQUIRED.
We are born fearless, but the more negative experiences we encounter, the more alert, fearful, we become with respect to any POTENTIAL threats. And if we don't recognise which of these are real, we may find ourselves habitually reacting to anything and everything. This leads in time to living in a state of permanent fear, called anxiety.
In general, the more we are on a hight alert, the more 'SENSITIVE' we get to others crossing our boundaries.
For example: you may know someone in your life who is permanently angry. He/She often takes things personally, and you feel like you are 'walking on egg shells'. He/She is, in fact, a 'chronic worrier', choosing to fight everything and everyone who he/she PERCEIVES to be a threat.
Although it is by no means an excuse for such destructive behaviour, we must recognise that these folks have been very hurt in the past. Typically when they were children.
They perceive life as one battlefield, one big punishment, disappointment, often feeling victimised. Their world is one of competition, and lack. They feel threatened on daily basis by those who they perceive as more powerful.
But if fear is acquired, if it is learned, is living in fear inauthentic? Are we falsely acting on fearful beliefs living an ILLUSION?
Fear is meant to protect us. The question is, HOW MUCH fear is needed in our lives to keep us safe? How much of it is a hindrance, keeping us locked away from exploring and experiencing how great life is, how great WE ARE!?
Truthfully, we are greatly paralysed and easily manipulated by fearful messages on daily basis.
Media and negative press greatly contribute to spreading fearful messages.
War, racism, religious and political conflicts, any other propaganda which DIVIDES masses.
Fear rules us. Rules our thoughts and actions.
And this is why: We are programmed to look out for danger in our environment.
And perhaps thousands of years ago it was helping us to survive. We had to be on a look out for natural disasters, for large animals not to be eaten alive, and to keep us safe from other humans attacking us. But what about now? Broadcasting negativity, potential threats, doesn't ensure safety, surely. We have evolved, we live in relatively safe environments, our planet IS safe!
Why are we so scared then?
If we are to get to the bottom of our 'high alert' state, we have to start somewhere.
In line with 'change starts within', lets focus on our inner worries. Because lets be honest, we will find it very hard to manage any threats coming from the outside if we haven't quite mastered our imagined, inner fears and anxieties first and foremost.
Inner fears come from our insecurities, our emotional wounding. They have arisen when we were made to look bad, or small, as children. We felt inferior, unloved, and powerless.
So just how REAL WERE these threats?
We were scared of our own existence back then! We made ourselves believe that if we aren't enough we won't HAVE enough, that we are not deserving, not loveable. Which felt pretty bad....
Since then we altered our behaviour patterns in response to this fear.
We do everything possible NOT to feel miserable as a result of our false beliefs about ourselves. We want to feel enough, loveable and powerful. We work hard to get a great job, searching for a great partner.
The problem is that we don't believe that we ARE what we are seeking: we don't believe deep down that we are powerful enough to make it in this world, that we ARE good enough and loveable to find a kind and genuine partner or a great job we totally deserve.
We essentially fear ourselves - we fear the picture we hold about ourselves in our minds since we were children. We believe in our insignificance fearing our greatness.
And this is precisely what our politicians and religious leaders use against us.
Any leader who instills fear to rule others is manipulating his way to power. And only those who are scared , feeling powerless deep down, wish to become powerful.
What about leader who makes us feel SAFE for a change? Wouldn't that be great?!
Believe me, it is possible....You may be one of them!
But you have to start within - YOU have to become your own leader first.
Overcome your learned behaviour patterns based on 'not being enough' and feeling powerless. Stand up to your own demons if you wish to be able to take on the demons of the world.
You have to find safety within. Find peace by breaking down all those beliefs of yours which make you feel small - not believing that you can be GREAT! Because any LACK with respect to yourself will translate into the world around you....abundance ( like love ) starts within.
Become a TRUE WARRIOR, fighting your former fearful Self, instead of just being a worrier endlessly fighting others.
Your greatness - THAT you truly ARE, can only shine without the presence of 'your' fears.
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel