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  • Michaela Patel


Have you ever found yourself in a painful situation which has repeated itself, involving similar kind of people with (yet again) negative outcome? Perhaps you argued with your parent about the same thing? Or you broke up with a partner who's character closely resembled your previous one?

It's like having the power to switch gears or push the break of a car which we have little control over...

We often cruise on highways [ through life ] at an insane speed [ act automatically but unconsciously ]. We have repeated painful crashes [ relationship break ups, infidelity, addiction, abusive relationships ] because we fail to slow down and simply NOTICE things.

We fail to notice because we are busy chatting with our passangers [ listening to the world outside ]. There so much going on around us! So much DISTRACTION on hand: reminders in our packed calendar; push notifications on social media, dating or gaming sites; adverts on TV for things you might need; political mayhem in neighbouring country, or the wedding of your cousin. We like to experience it all, don't we? It just keeps coming and we 'need to live it up'! There is always that next thing to focus on.

And then we crash... again and again.

But do we stop and evaluate the situation?

Do we ask questions wanting to understand WHY we crashed?

No. Because we are 'busy' attending neighbour's party...

It is much easier to shut your problems out and head for a drink, blaming others for your life not working the way you like it to. We think that we are better than others, judging them for how they fell asleep behind THEIR steering wheel [ acted blindly and without awareness ], feeling like the victims of the accidents we have been involved in, refusing to own responsibility on our part...

When are WE going to slow down?! How are we going to make different choices when we don't understand what drove our past choices in the first place? We are so focused on our destination [ finding love and happiness ] not noticing the road, that we find ourselves in same kind of road accidents repeatedly [ the same kind of drama with the same type of people, same story over and over again ].

If you want a DIFFERENT life, if you like to date different kind of people, if you like others to treat you differently, you must STOP what you are doing and REFLECT on how YOU have been so far. You must accept that your thoughts and beliefs are responsible for how you are reacting to others and how you are being, for them to act in certain ways towards you. YES, you must accept that perhaps your own 'dos and don'ts' have helped to co-create your present reality. And NO, others unkind behaviour ISN'T JUSTIFIED by the fact that you have got some healing to do. Just because you have some unhealthy needs to attend to, just because you do not know how to protect your own boundaries, it doesn't mean that you deserve to be mistreated!

If you cannot work on those issues of yours, however, and change YOU, your reality will remain the same.

Know that every action is followed by a reaction in the form of your own thinking and/or feeling. The faster you travel without looking [ without questioning yourself and reflecting ], the more accidents [ negativity and drama ] you are bound to have as a result of your blindness [ unawareness ] , and the more hurt and frustration you will feel. Frustration from crushing into the same people because you didn't give yourself chance to switch gears, because you acted the way you always did expecting different results...

...It seems like jumping up and down to the fitness program on TV isn't the only INSANITY exercise we do.

So listen. When you have a fall and hurt yourself, STOP! Your injury isn't just a painful nuisance. It is trying to wake you up from your unawareness.


  1. CATCH YOUR THOUGHTS! Catch yourself what you are about to do as a result of those. What are you about to say? How are you going to act?

  2. THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES of your thoughts. Ask yourself 'Have I been here before?'

  3. REFLECT on the result of your thinking by asking 'What was the result last time I acted like this?' 'Was this thought serving me well?' If your thinking is somewhat unclear, or you feel confused, WRITE your thoughts down and SORT THEM OUT. Use your intelligence for its intended purpose - to understand you!

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2017 Michaela Patel

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