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  • Michaela Patel


We are rarely taught about our emotions at home. Oftentimes we are unable to even name what we feel due to emotional repression our carers modelled to us.

Emotions aren't taught at school either. Our society invites emotional denial, by means of supporting various distractions and addictive behaviours.

At times of intense emotional turmoil we feel overwhelmed and confused. Of course we do. We feel like a fish out of water, panicking like the little child we once were, and still are in an emotional department!

Feeling totally powerless, the easiest way OUT of feeling is to deny it altogether...

Practicing RESISTANCE to our emotional energies, which are in fact coming to our rescue to heal us, we are doing ourselves much damage. All that because we simply do not know how to MANAGE them.

After a relationship break up for example, we do everything possible to stop FEELING. We find our feelings of sadness, anger and loneliness unbearable.

I like for you to realise that your emotions are perfectly bearable if you understand how they can BENEFIT you, as supposed to hurting you. Firstly, drop this idea of 'bad' emotions. All your emotions have a purpose and a needed healing effect on your psyche, IF you know how to use their energies the way they are intended for us humans. Know that even those unpleasant emotions are serving you if you allow them to!

To allow our emotions to do their work we have to allow their arrival without resisting them. If we can do this without judgment (which is only your mind creating a story about you not having the right to feel that way) they will depart. Nothing lasts forever. We feel what we feel! But if we think we shouldn't feel it we are arguing with what clearly is. Resistance is WHY we suffer so much! Resistance keeps those emotional waves stuck from flowing, from movement. And like any other energy, our emotions must move THROUGH us once they arise within. If they cannot move, they cannot leave.

Break ups are a lot less painful when we stop arguing with reality: with what exists and what doesn't. Surprisingly to us, accepting and letting go of wanting things to be different brings a sense of relief.

The energy of non-resistance sets stuck energies into motion, similarly to a plug being pulled out. Prepare yourself for being moved by them!

Allowing the feelings of sadness to just be be, we let go off our attachment to what our relationship REPRESENTED. Meaning releasing our ILLUSION we held about our partner (which we created). Blaming others is really a bad call, only further separating us from learning what there is to lean about US, from OUR healing.

Focusing on ourselves it allows us to question: Why did Icreate something which didn't exist in the first place?

Sadness brings us to US, instead of them. We cannot fix anyone else but ourselves. By resisting feeling our sadness we resist our own healing, because the energy of sadness clears the useless from our life, the clutter which no longer serves us! Releasing our old attachments, it allows us to drop our baggage we so often like to drag with us.

If we use our anger wisely, our boundaries get restored so that we feel comfortable and protected again. Regaining sense of space and peace. It allows us to breathe again and become CENTRED. Releasing others, and our anger at them, we suddenly feel angry with ourselves for allowing abuse. This makes us realise how disrespectful and unkind we were towards ourselves, feeling the pain of disappointment in ourselves. THAT is as far as most of us go, whilst the next crucial step is somehow omitted!

What about forgiveness? We so often 'forget' to forgive ourselves. Yet without it we cannot truly learn our lessons and move on without our past baggage!

Loneliness is so scary for us. Even though we are often on our own and perfectly fine!

The reason why this kind of loneliness is different is because when our relationship has ended we feel the pain of rejection. Our old emotional wound has opend up from long ago and all we can feel is like that little child, abandoned by those who were meant to love him/her...

We must allow those feelings of loneliness to exist without resisting, without our further destructive self-talk of 'I am a grown up and SHOULDN'T feel like a helpless child'. Remember you are an adult, perfectly capable of BEING WITH your emotional energies. You have YOU!

If we allow our feelings to arrive, they will also depart. They will allow us to realise that indeed we are NOT helpless, but our new carer. The one who is truly responsible and powerful, able to feel his or her emptiness to fully restore his or her completeness...

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel

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