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  • Michaela Patel


Do you think good looking people are happier? Think again!

The advertising industry certainly hammers this into our subconscious daily, desiring to sell us something. That something is a promise of a better quality life. The better we look (so it tells us), the better we feel and the happier we are meant to be.

But are looks really the pinnacle of happiness? What exactly are we striving for by wanting to alter our image?

We become obsessed... ADDICTED to 'looking good'. The sad thing is that ONLY THEN we feel happy. We impose conditions on our self-acceptance, creating the perfect foundation for conditional love for ourselves - a slippery slope towards unhappiness. Right the opposite to what has been promissed to us. Endless checking ourselves in a mirror, we become slaves to the chase for the ideal look conveyed to us through literally every page of a high fashion magazine. How we should look is presented to us on the screens, be it TV or social media on our phone. We look at ourselves in a mirror, the scrutiny begins...

Judging ourselves MANY times a day is a job in itself. Damm it's tiring! Lawyers get paid well for this kind of work, but we do it for free AND not in our favour! No wonder we need a glass of wine at the end of the day. We need a break from constant comparing, so that we can finally relax. With the help of alcohol, we are able to let go. We ease off, settling down with ourselves the way we are, being more accepting and in peace with our looks. And after few glasses, truly, we 'no longer give a s..t'… People like to drink because they need a break from the chase and the illusion of happiness which truly brings them nothing but misery. But we do not see nor feel it because alcohol emotionally disconnects us from ourselves whilst it 'treats' our un-ease. We get numb, at times literally...

A very reliable indicator of how happy we truly are in life is the amount of alcohol we consume. Some binge drink only at weekends, some, sadly however, daily. Either way, works in the favour of the industry as it feeds of our alcohol consuptions on the other end.

See, the entire industry, from healthcare, pharmaceutical, cosmetic companies, media, politics, food industry (you name it), is imposing on us that we need to look a certain way. It says that if we do we most certainly will: hold more value, feel better, find love and live a better quality life. Many people believe that if they look better, they have a better chance of finding a better partner, leading to a better relationship and life. Whatever 'BETTER' means. But we do not QUESTION that, do we? No, we only FOLLOW what everyone else does.

This is how it REALLY goes: those who are seeking reassurance from looking at themselves in a mirror are seeking their worth in a wrong place. By doing so, their worth as a human Being equals mere reflection in a mirror...

They please themselves with their IMAGE, which they mistaken for their VALUE. If they are pleased, they feel momentarily happy, falsely believing THIS IS true happiness. God forbid if they pass by a mirror first thing in the morning, after a long day at work, without a make up, or ...please add your own. I am sure there are many more you can think of!

True happiness is freedom. The freedom from judgement, the freedom to be. True happiness is peace, yet our endless chase leaves us nothing but restless...

So what makes a human Being valuable? How do people who are WORTHY look like?

Ha! Trick question! True value is intrinsic and independent of their image. They may be quietly confident, unnoticeable. Unlike those who seem to have fallen out of a fashion magazine, chasing their sense of worth through their image. So this is where most of us go wrong, because we look for an outer confirmation. Yet true happiness comes from genuinely KNOWING our value. FEELING worthy is an inside job! Not a momentary, fleeting feeling, depending on outside circumstances but a forever kind of thing. Because once you attain this deep knowing about yourself (providing you know how you truly feel about yourself) there is no way back to depending on the opinions of others.

So how do we attain this deep knowing, our feeling our worth?

1/ We learn to love ourselves. We become content with the way we are, understanding that we are unique, embracing our originality. We are proud to be different, hence we totally relinquish the chase to be someone else.

2/ We lear to respect ourselves because we KNOW we are valued contributors to the lives of others. We serve humanity by becoming a positive example. We INSPIRE others to change, ‘making’ them better people (NOT better looking!) but genuinely happier, more loving and understanding. Understanding themselves and others. An inspiration happens through artistic expression of any kind, like drawing, music, poetry, inventions, or any kind of inner genius which we ALL possess. We learn to embrace our gifts and share them with others. These gifts make us the unique contributors. Our true value is in inspiring others to make them live authentically, in tune with themselves and their surroundings. (My writings for example are meaning to bring you closer to who you truly are - to be true to yourself.)

Any inauthenticity always goes against us, expressing itself as a law of karma, or the law of attraction. Basically the law of the Universe comes down to simple physics: THE LAW OF ACTION AND REACTION. If you go against yourself, you will suffer. If you chase illusion, you get an illusion back. Sometime and somewhere it will ALWAYS come back to you. So next time you look at yourself in a mirror on the wall, remember that your life is the only true reflection of your value. The QUALITY of your life reflects how you truly feel about yourself: as your worth expands, happiness in your life expands in proportion with it.

How do you inspire others? What are your talents? What makes you unique OTHER THAN YOUR LOOKS?

If you are not sure, set yourself a mission to find it!

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel

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