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  • Michaela Patel


The more you observe yourself the more of a habit it becomes. And the more you do that, the more you get to know yourself.

If you do not get used to observing yourself in action, by action meaning not only how you act, but also what you THINK ABOUT, and HOW YOU FEEL, I guarantee you that you do NOT know yourself but just the concept of you.

The concept of you is what you’ve been told about you. By your parents, or anyone who brought you up. Like what you like doing, what you can or can’t do well, how you should be, how you feel or how you should feel. Others commented on your ‘dos’ and have given you your identity based on how you acted or performed at certain activities. Your 'dos' became YOU, particularly when you haven’t delivered or fell short of OTHERS expectations of you.

You see dog is born a dog. It is not born a tiger. Yet amongst humans if expectations are to act like a tiger and the dog fails to deliver, no one declares: ‘You are a dog, I am so sorry, my expectations of you were unfair and silly.’

No, they don’t apologise for comparing the incomparable, but rather make a dog into a tiger who should be ashamed, into a tiger who isn’t good enough, a tiger who disappointed them. Never mind the dog is a different animal altogether, never mind he is talented in different ways which the tiger cannot compete in.

This is how the dog gets his new identity... a cage.

This is how they put you into a prison. They don’t lock the door. They don’t have to...

Because they made you believe you are someone who belongs in there. And because you focus on being the tiger, you have no desire to be the dog anymore, and you make the prison of 'who you should be' your home.

So how do we realise that we are not who we thought we were? How do we get to know OUR voice, OUR happiness? How do we finally free ourselves of someone else's concept, and find peace within?

The only way is to observe ourselves. Observe our thoughts, and see which ones are ours and which are someone else’s. If our thinking voice says how we ‘should be', if it very much resembles the voice of our parents, then we must realise that this isn’t an idea of ours. Typically it goes: ' You don't deserve this. You are not worthy of having that because you have been bad, lazy, etc. You should be/do ...instead.'

If this voice criticises us or forces us to do things, attempting to control us and others, we must realise that it is the voice of our own Ego - the survival part of ourselves which has grown out of proportion and overshadowed who we truly are.

Listen to your thinking voice, listen to the talk in your mind. Just observe it and notice how it makes you feel. Attempt NOT TO JUDGE it as this starts yet another dialogue with your Ego.

Be the silent watcher, be the curiosity itself.

If you can observe yourself with a smile without getting involved, your will see who you have become. You will notice the concept of yourself you are living, the cage you keep yourself in voluntarily. It will become a great comedy to you, realising how absurd your thoughts and actions are. At times however, it may feel like you are watching a drama, and it may even scare or shock you. What you will start to see more and more is how much you suffer.

In time your will learn to identify with the watcher and you will prefer it.

Because when you are the watcher you notice how impartial, calm, and wise you are. How FAIR you are. You don’t judge, or put yourself down. You are rather kind and compassionate. Understanding. Loving.

It feels much nicer to be content, peaceful, and fearless. You are more decisive, more confident. You TRUST this part of you. It feels true to you, not to anyone else. It feels true to who you really are. Authentic. The more you get to know the Watcher the more you get to know this part of you. In turn you will be able to notice much quicker when you are not the Watcher but your Ego and how that makes you feel in contrast. With enough practice you will be able to choose who you like to be, who you like to follow. Up to a certain point we do not see that we have a choice to lead our OWN life.

To choose with awareness is to consciously decide who we want to be, and who we don’t. With understanding who we are not, we stop chasing the role which others have assigned to us, embracing who we really are...

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel

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