One of my family members told me recently 'I don't have NO EGO!'
She proclaimed that teaching self-love and self-respect is selfish, egotistical in itself.
To which I replied: 'And how do you know you don't have an ego? Do you know your Ego THAT well!? Don't you think your Ego may be talking RIGHT NOW?'
If someone proclaims not to have an ego it is like saying: 'I don't have any love in me.'
And that isn't true, is it? We are all, deep down, loving creatures. We were born that way!
Most of us only 'forgot' their true nature. Because our Ego overshadowed our True Self. It has grown so LARGE that we think we know who we are....
Ego is your primitive, reactive Self, your shadow Self. Ego tells you who you should be.
It is who you think you are by the definition of others, and your own.
True Self is your wise, higher Self, that you TRULY ARE, and that your Ego pretends to be.
They come together as a couple to TEACH you about each other. Ego teaches you about light, about who you are, by showing up as the darkness you are NOT. And light of your True Self shines onto the darkness of your Ego, for you to realise how illusory your shadows are if you choose to be the light, and how powerful it is in eliminating darkness.
There is no way for one existing without the other.
You won't know who you are, that you ARE light, unless you experience your darkness.
You won't be able to appreciate your happiness without experiencing suffering. There is no way you know how good your life is unless you experienced struggle. Your Soul has to discover both extremes to become whole.
Fearing, fighting, resisting ....all comes from Ego. Courage, peace, flow, come from who we are.
HATE is Ego, darkness, suffering. LOVE is True Self, light, happiness.
And yes, we like to eliminate our darkness altogether once we discover our light. But its presence is a REMINDER. Reminder for us be true to ourselves. Reminder to love ourselves and others. Reminder that we always have a choice. Choice of who we want to be, although in much darkness we cannot see we have a choice. See, 'not having a choice' is a condition for 'having a choice', like being in the dark is a condition for seeing the light.
Displaying our 'good side', hiding our 'negative side', or pretending we don't have any, is a desperate attempt to escape OURSELVES. It's an endless cycle of escape into captivity. It's our Ego dressed as our True self, hoping that we will get so blinded by our vision of light, that it will escape our awareness. Ego tries any lie to cheat our honest Self. It tries to cheat the truth.
But getting angry at our Ego is only adding heat to its fire....
There is NO WAY of fighting or escaping our darkness. How can you escape your own shadow?!
It can, however, be observed:)
Being aware of our Ego's work is the ONLY WAY we can loosen its grip on us.
The less we are aware, the more we are being IT, stumbling in the dark.
Being truthful, and recognising we do not know anything about our Ego, or who we are, is the first ray of light cutting through our darkness. Eventually more honesty and truth will cast more light over our shadows.
Darkness ceases to exist in the light of our awareness.
Ego 'KNOWS', our True Self is AWARE. Knowledge leads us to a realisation that we do not know anything. Realisation that up until now we 'knew' but weren't aware. That the more aware we are the more choices we have.
The more we consciously choose, the less we REACT without having a choice. The more we pick what agrees with our True Self, the more responsible and wiser we get. The wiser we get, the more grateful we are to our foolishness and irresponsibility that has taught us so much. The happier we get, the more grateful we are for the pain we endured, realising that our peace could have not existed without all the drama. That our greatness and authentic power couldn't have been realised without being the victim.
We cannot heal without facing our pain. We cannot forgive ourselves without feeling guilty. Nor we can accept responsibility for ourselves without blaming others to start with.
Joy is a natural state of who we truly are. Misery is created by whom we are not.
To give Life to your True Self, your Ego must face the fear of its own death.
Darkness - Light.
Negativity - Positivity.
Lie - Truth.
Captivity - Freedom.
Pain - Love.
Death - Life.
One cannot be realised without the other. They simply serve each other. They work in opposition yet TOGETHER. The more light, the less shadows, and the other way around.
We all have the potential to be the saint and the sinner. We all have the potential to be the prisoner of our shadow Self. With awareness, the choice is ours.
And we must choose, or it will be chosen for us....
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel