His GUILT was due to an indent in his mask of perfection. All guilt was because it was pointing to the defects in his image of a NICE guy. The image he wanted everyone to believe in.
Like his life depended on it. He needed everyone to believe in this image. The image who he wanted to be.
He wanted to be that image because he didn't believe that if he was different, anyone would want him. He wanted to be accepted. He wanted to be liked. Loved. Deep down he doesn't believe that he is worthy...
He must maintain his mask just perfect. It makes him lie to others. It makes him lie to himself.
It drains him but if he doesn't keep his image likeable others might catch a glimpse of the Self he BELIEVES he is: the ugly little boy, unworthy of love and not deserving to be heard. He compares himself constantly to his mask of perfection. That is his inner boundary, and his 'protection'. If he falls short he feels guilty.
He feels ASHAMED as though he failed. He doesn't want to feel like a failure.
He wants to be the best version of himself.
But how can he even try when he doesn't know who he truly IS?!
If he did, he wouldn't have to PRETEND... What he doesn't see is that at his core, under the layers of his mask and beliefs about himself, his Soul is PURE perfection. He doesn't know that by lying to himself and the world about who he believes he is, he won't ever get to question his ugly belief...that without stopping running away from himself he won't be able to confront THIS which controls him. He won't ever get to see the real beauty inside and feel free...
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel