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  • Michaela Patel

PATRIARCHY HANDCUFFS - WHY IS PATRIARCHY BAD FOR EVERYONE

Updated: May 22

Whilst the world tackles other forms of discrimination, we mustn't forget that our society is still predominantly ruled by men.


cultural conditioning

In patriarchal culture the woman's role is well defined and confined by what she cannot do, how she shall present herself, how she shall serve others, whilst the man can do what he pleases within the constrains of the law. This unfairness is sure to cause disharmony and dischord which the man silences by approved means of his community. His right being a deeply ingrained belief in his superiority. In extreme circumstances men do not hesite to abuse, imprison, or annihilate women who dare to question their rights. Patriarchy is build on the power held by its men, exerted over their women and children, which is what ensures its sustenance. Even though a clearly outdated system (dating back to 17th century!) many cultures are still pushing it upon their younger generations today. Hiding behind their traditions and/or religion, they essentially promote inequality, causing imbalance, separation, conflict...


Warped since its inception, patriarchy is nothing else but a lingering maladaptation to life. It has evolved in response to past adversity at times we weren't as advanced as we are now - mentally, emotionally and spiritually. My aim isn't to add to the common moan however, but to break the rusty handcuffs of our beliefs we so proudly seize the fresh minds of our children with.


Independent of our family conditioning, our faith, or the era we were born into, we all share the desire for happiness. At times when survival was on top of our priority list, happiness simply meant not getting killed by another tribe, hunger, or freezing weather outside. Today however, the way we are going about fulfilling this deepest desire doesn't fortify our strengths but reinforces our weaknesses.


Strength is the sore spot on the fragile Ego-mind. Mainly because its hunger for control hides its many weaknesses and fears. The fear to lose freedom, the fear to feel inferior and not matter to others, the fear to be weak and incapable of great things. Those same things the Ego inflicts on others then feed into its worst nightmares...

Strength isn’t about control but about letting go of it.


Being strong is about being brave to be vulnerable. But let’s face it. Ego wasn’t built for letting go. It has evolved at times of survival, craving power. The more power, the less fear of its annihilation. Yet true happiness resides in a space far beyond our need for survival. When we feel truly free to express our expansive nature, unrestricted by the past or future musts, we feel the ever emanating joy of our presence. Independent of what others think of us, free of our need to please them, we are truly open to life and it’s wonders.

Happiness doesn’t derive from the need to overpower others. True happiness originates from being free by letting go fo the need to be a certain way. Clearly, by having to conform to the values of our past generations, without having the opportunity to question their validity, cultural and religious conditioning limits our organice evolution. Outmoded opinions of those we were taught to respect have arrested our own growth beyond the fears of our fathers and grandfathers. Not challenging those (again out of fear) we have essentially diminished the lives of our daughters and granddaughters. Riddled by fears for survival, one builds their identity on possessing power. Dictating what others should do with their lives, what they should wear, how they should speak and what they certainly shouldn’t ask for isn’t hard. Neither it requires strength to hold onto the status quo.


Courage is about standing up to the control-savvy and for the abused.


But before we can tackle the world we must stand up to the abuse of our own Ego, to its lies and our weaknesses. By tackling our fears, we are able to dissolve the Ego and with it the dividing walls of humanity. Undeniably, patriarchy repells true happiness. Egotistical attitude is the definition of unsustainability and destruction as once a man's mind gains certain amount of power it needs more feeding. His abuse of power then ceases to be limited to his women, his family or a close community, and shows up in a work place, on a sports court, in a church or political arena, in a grand display of a man turning against oneself...

Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.

Copyright © 2020 Michaela Patel

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