Updated: May 22
In today's world true happiness is an elusive commodity. It is, therefore, not surprising that everyone is chasing after it. 'If only I could feel happy like this all the time!' we cry...
But is happiness 24/7 necessary and beneficial to us? What is unhappiness and why are we so scared to feel anything but our 'good emotions'?
Unhappiness for us is every emotion which challenges us. Which makes us feel uncomfortable, confused or unsure. Which of course can feel upleasant, even painful!
We have a full emotional repertoire (inclusive those challenging emotions) for a reason. Did you know that the same emotions you are trying so hard to escape from have a positive effect on your psyche?
After we have been thrown off centre by the power of (mostly our own) thoughts, challenging emotions rush in to restore our emotional balance. If we consciously allow this to take place by understanding their precise role, they will shift us energetically into a state of emotional equilibrium. They will help us to re-establish our inner peace. Our inner calm from which our feelings of joy naturally arise like a gentle breeze a still desert.
Were you aware that happiness is a direct result of your inner calm? Were you chasing happiness whilst running away from that you call 'unhappiness'?
Paradoxically, it is that we are running away from which will take us reliably to true happiness. Feeling sad for example, allowing this emotion naturally arise and depart like the wind, you are clearing space of all that is ought to go for your to feel joyous again. If you shut this emotion out, however, and reach for a distraction of some sort, you deny yourself the necessary CLEARING to feel genuinely happy. Your 'dummy happiness' will only last for the duration of this activity. As soon as you are done with it, your repressed sadness will try to flow in again to clear your psyche of any emotional baggage.
Have you ever wondered how can you get addicted to certain activities, products, or people?
The departure of joy is what we call unhappiness. Unhappiness, however, isn’t one emotion but an umbrella hiding many we try to avoid.
When we allow all our emotional energies to flow, emotions (like joy for example) naturally depart. Whenever we resent or fear the depature of cetain emotions, we begin feeling upset, anxious. Resisting, fighting against this natural notion of e-motion, brings about the feeling of inner un-ease. Accepting the natural notion, on the other hand, brings inner peace, which is what we need more of in our lives instead of rumping up the noise.
Having certain level of emotional awareness, being emotionally intelligent, we free ourselves of the need to change how we feel in the moment.
We get to understand that our unhappiness truly starts when we try to hold onto certain emotions. It is like trying to contain water in our hands. We get desperate, frustrated, scared, unknowingly acting like there is a shortage of joy. Like if we cannot keep it we lost it forever, like it will never come back. When in fact there is more chance of it coming back when we let go of needing to feel in a certain way and go with the organic flow. By unknowingly acting on our lack of understanding our emotional energies we are forcing ourselves into an emotional lock down. Even better, an emotional lock out of ‘If I cannot feel happy I rather don’t feel at all’. We stomp our wobbly emotional feet, blaming our emotions for making us feel ‘weak’. The whole macho culture is build on this damaging notion. Because who wants to feel weak? Who wants to be confused? Nobody wants to feel disempowered, even temporarily! This is how chasing happiness becomes highly addictive. By obsessively chasing 'feeling good’ and fearfully running away from 'feeling bad’ is how we betray ourselves...
Emotions, like any other energy, just are. We call them unhappy because facing them we feel vulnerable, helpless. Which really is our own doing for simply not grasping how is their CHANGEABILITY of service to us.
"Your life is a symphony and your emotions are its notes. The richer your repertoire, the more enjoyable the concert, of which you are its conductor."
- M.Patel, Trueloveempath
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Copyright © 2018 Michaela Patel